How much is too much in marriage life? | Problem of marriage

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Problem of Marriage

Often in a marriage, we are told to adjust and compromise and over look, which is not a bad advice considering the beginning stages of a marriage to require a lot of work. Whether it was a love marriage or arranged living with a person is a totally different order of living.

When you are with roommates it’s different, with family it’s different because in both cases you have the option of moving out or you have been so long with them that even if you have problems they begin to seem like the new normal.

Living with your partner is a whole scenario because you do not have way out. You have to work out things and you are not too elder or too young to forgive, excuse or adjust or reason out each other’s behaviors.

Expectation levels tend to be high. But all things can be worked out if dealt with in the right manner.

It is also very essential to understand how much tolerance is okay and how much is not.

There are two types of tolerance:

Good tolerance: he doesn’t put the toilet seat down. You can tolerate that as it doesn’t mean someone is going to die. The level of disturbance from this depends on how much you let it affect you or how much you exaggerate the matter.

Bad tolerance: coming home drunk and verbally or physically abusing you every night and apologizing to you the next morning.

If you noticed the difference then you can understand what I am talking about. Now that you know the difference we are going to further elaborate on the bad tolerance and the factors we need to keep in mind regarding them.

 

Factors of tolerance:

  1. Time factor {#1 Problem of Marriage}

This simply means how long you decide to put up with the annoying habits or actions. Time factor is important because the longer you let it happen, the more number of regrets pile up and it gets more difficult to move on. So, it is advisable to not waste many years waiting for the change to happen and become that change you want instead.

  1. Emotional factor {#2 Problem of Marriage}

How long can you manage to hold on to your emotional sanity? That in simple words means, how long before you begin to lose it? And you cannot afford to never lose it. When it begins to affect your mental health then you are in a very dangerous position medically. You cannot think rationally and you begin to self doubt and slowly blame yourself for every wrong thing happening around and you get hurt too easily.

  1. Depression factor {#3 Problem of Marriage}

What follows after you lose out emotionally is you fall into depression. Falling into depression is so easy that one doesn’t even realize they are in depression till they are out of it completely. This can really disrupt your entire lifestyle and your individual self at a very critical level. You will require medical assistance in such matters. Don’t let your tolerance reach that level.

  1. Result factor {#4 Problem of Marriage}

When you have tried everything and you are getting zero positive results it’s time to stop tolerating and start acting. Yes it is indeed a good thing to try and work things out and wait for changes to occur over time. But when you find yourself being disappointed over and over again it’s time to get up and get moving.

The most common mistake people make is equating tolerance to patience.

‘Patience is the not ability to wait but the ability to wait with the good attitude while waiting’ which becomes absent when you are tolerating.

Therefore, the need of the hour is to realize that there’s a limit to everything.

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Angelin james

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I have always loved reading books and writing my thoughts down, mostly inspired from personal experience or people around who make a difference. When I was given the opportunity to write I was enthralled because it is one of the things I love doing. So my advice to all would be the same never stop feeding your passion whether you are studying or working.

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