Signs of Marriage Problems
Wikipedia defines ‘Puppetry’ as follows, “Puppetry is a form of theatre or performance that involves the manipulation of puppets – inanimate objects, often resembling some type of human or animal figure that are animated or manipulated by a human called a puppeteer.”
Words to note are: manipulation, inanimate objects and puppeteer.
Before I explain these words and where this is going, you need to understand whether or not you are a puppet or a puppeteer in the relationship.
How to know if you are a puppet?- Signs of marriage problems
- Are you a person who never talks back to your partner?
Now this doesn’t have to mean you are having a fight or during an argument. But you are not talking to your partner in general while having a conversation. Are you allowed to say back much? If not, then you are likely to be someone who listens more and is not allowed to say much, which is not favorable if it happens too often.
- Do you feel nervous or anxious to say what is on your mind?
Are you thinking the whole day whether get across something to your partner and still never end up telling them? If you are scared to voice out your feelings and are scared of the response you might get then that’s puppet play situation.
- Are you always nodding yes?
This is as simple as it is. If you are someone who cannot say no ever to anything then you are the biggest puppet there can be. Saying no sometimes is very important. It is not okay to push yourself beyond what you can. You are not God to be available (physically or emotionally) all the time. You also need a break sometimes and it should not be always asked for it should be understood as well.
- Do you never have an opinion about anything or anyone whatsoever?
Now there are two reasons for this. Either you are a very ‘I don’t care’ type of person or you are not never allowed to have an opinion because nobody ever regards it and you get used to it and you ultimately stopped having any opinion about anything at all. This is how your individual growth is stunted, but this type of exercise cannot exist with your partner. Your partner should be the reason why you grow both individually and together.
- Yes is the most common response.
If you are saying yes to everything then you are evidently a puppet. Not saying no could mean you want to say no but do it anyway. But saying yes is doing it whether you want to or not. You are mechanical.
- There is a fixed routine of doing things.
There are no changes in the way you talk or conduct with your partner. A certain pattern of things are encouraged. Example: when your partner’s friends are home, you are not allowed to come out too often or introduce yourself or sit with them. These are not the way a free person lives.
Now being a puppet is as dangerous as being a puppeteer, because then that makes you the reason for the fall in the relationship.
How to know if you are the puppeteer? – signs of marriage problems
- You don’t listen much.
You could but you choose not to. Either you think your partner’s opinion is not valid or senseless or useless always. You do not respect their opinion and love to always have it your way. So why bother listening.
- You do the entire decision making.
Now this could be voluntary but if you are doing it with the intention of not letting your partner have a say in anything. You want to control and manipulate everything going around because things need to go your way.
- You cannot take suggestions.
You do not encourage it as you think it is not fair. When you can do no wrong then why seek suggestions. You are like an oppressive monarch who doesn’t care what the people want you just do it anyway. You think only you know what is best.
- You discourage opinions from partner.
When you cannot listen, take suggestions and love making all the decisions then why bother taking you or partner’s opinion or even checking if they are comfortable with how you want things done at all.
- No is your common response.
You cannot say yes. You find it difficult to say yes because you fear losing control or letting your partner think they can ask of things from you.
- There is fixed way you like things to be done in.
You do not like change. You have a certain order to be followed even if it’s very narrow minded. You are paranoid about losing your authority and you are willing to go to any extent to have things happen your way, the same way, every time.
If you find yourself in a position where you a manipulated remember you are not an inanimate object and no matter who the puppeteer is, it is time to walk out of that relationship.
So, who are you: victim, survivor or a navigator?
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