Husband stereotypes and happy relationships | causes of marriage problems

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Causes of Marriage Problems

Generally, we hear about the problems wives have with their husbands.

Now I would encourage every reader to give this a thought, don’t most of the problems arise out of expectations?

Expectations set by stereotypes!

Expectations that have been tailored by the society and passed on over the generations which most of us have failed to evolve from. Stereotypes can be funny at first but let’s see how much of it rules the normal ways of our lives.

I came across a cartoon “Marriage is a workshop. Where husband works and wife shops.”

Now this may look like a statement that is undermining the ability of a woman to work and be self-sufficient. But let’s take a closer look and see what other connotation it has. A man would never shop? Would never take care of any other activity apart from work? To 90% of audience, this may seem like stereotyping of women. But if looked upon closely, it’s stereotyping both the husband and the wife.

See how easily we missed out on what assumption was made about the husband.

Similarly there are various such scenarios, to quote a few more stereotypes and explain how this works so subtly in our everyday lives and how much problems it causes for the husbands and the wives and ultimately affects the relationship.

Some stereotypes that husbands have to deal with are:

 

  1. The one responsible for teaching children sports: Strong and muscular doesn’t equate to being sporty, ladies. Your man could be a musician, a chef, an artist. Let’s widen our horizon.- {#1 causes of marriage problems}

 

  1. Not a cook: Given a chance they may surprise you with the best tea and breakfast. You never know, he may be a secret Gordon Ramsay.- {#2 causes of marriage problems}

 

  1. They like to chug beer and drool and be shabby: Even fashion industry and beauty cosmetic companies have accepted this now that men too like to be well-groomed, stay hygienic and healthy. When will the opposite sex come to terms with it?- {#3 causes of marriage problems}

 

  1. They dislike wife’s friends or are scared of them: Remember the song “Wannabe” by Spice Girls? Every man has the line of the song “if you wannabe my lover you gotta get with my friends” as their mantra. They follow it religiously. Make sure you have friends that appreciate your relationship first.- {#4 causes of marriage problems}

 

  1. They forget birthdays and other important dates: Women are designed to remember dates. For instance: when did our periods start last month? When are they due this month? When is the baby due? When was the last ultra sound taken? Birthdays we cannot forget as we participate in giving birth. But in the middle of remembering all this most husbands do remember due date for bill payment, travel dates, booking dates, restaurant reservations, jewelry delivery date. That makes up for it don’t you think so?- {#5 causes of marriage problems}

 

  1. They don’t like to share and talk: In order to listen we need to keep quiet first. I rest my case.- {#6 causes of marriage problems}

 

  1. Incapable of buying grocery: There are two categories in this one. One, those who do know how to buy groceries better than you. Two, those who are smart and overcome this drawback by utilizing applications like Grofers, Amazon, etc. You have to give them credit for trying.- {#7 causes of marriage problems}

 

  1. They are not organized: Never have I ever ‘cleaned up’ by piling everything into a closet. I think irrespective of gender most will say ‘have’. That nullifies these stereotype ladies.- {#8 causes of marriage problems}

 

Now I can go on with many more such stereotypes that have been wrecking the lives of so many gentlemen and ladies. Moreover, I can also assume that most of us did agree to be prey to these stereotypes and letting them set standards for how our man should be in a relationship. Yes I do agree there are some who maintain the above standards because of whom the whole of husbandhood suffers.

So the best way is to not assume anything and give more space and comfort with an open mind, and not classify gender duties.

We all know that Eve ate the apple first. Adam was a husband who heeded to his wife and we all know how it went down for mankind after that. Not implying wives are the root of the problem but instead of playing the blame game; let’s give a break to the husbands who try and most of the problems would fade. And wives get rewarded a healthy, happy relationship.

The goal is to not avoid arguments or talking out issues and suppressing them but instead to have them all with no inhibitions. Be like Tom and Jerry, they argue all time and still cannot be without each other.

 

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Angelin james

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I have always loved reading books and writing my thoughts down, mostly inspired from personal experience or people around who make a difference. When I was given the opportunity to write I was enthralled because it is one of the things I love doing. So my advice to all would be the same never stop feeding your passion whether you are studying or working.

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