When you’re in love, all that you truly want is for the other person (your partner) to be happy and healthy. So if your boyfriend smokes a cigarette and that bothers you, then my dear, this is right place for you.
The effects of smoking are harmful not only on the smoker’s health but also on a smokers’ peers and friends for passive smoking is equally harmful too. You definitely can’t force someone to give up smoking, and something that you must realize is that the decision to do so (quitting smoking) is ultimately his (smoker’s) responsibility. As a girlfriend, better said a lover, you’ve got to be really patient with your partner. Here’s a quick list of what you can do-
- Choose your words wisely
A smoker is well aware of ill effects of smoking and has probably thought of kicking the butt umpteen number of times. Therefore, constantly nagging him (your guy) about how harmful a smoke is, does not sound like a good idea. Also, a proven fact states that telling someone to stop smoking makes them indulge into it more often. So, your approach could be a game changer. Rather than pointing out the ill effects, you may point out how various people succeeded in quitting smoking.
2.Talk it out
Talk to your guy to find out what kind of support/help he needs. Simply because the same strategies do not work for everyone, different beings want different levels and kinds of understanding. Having such conversations not only helps you both to understand what you want from each other but also deepens your understanding.
- Try the nudge method.
Google explains Nudge as a concept of behavioral science, economics and political theory which proposes indirect suggestions as ways of influencing the behavior and decision making of any individual. You can implement nudge method by asking your husband to open a savings account into which he’ll deposit the same money he would have otherwise spent on cigarettes. Now, how you spend that money is completely up to you.
- Mobilize your support network.
There’s actually a thing as smoking cessation medication. There are medical experts who can help you cope with smoking addiction. Doctors are a part of your extended support network and an really help one deal with addictions.
- Think before checking in
If you, as a girlfriend or a wife are considering to keep a strict check on whether your husband or husband is avoiding the ciggy as you had decided, then another thing you need to decide is the number of times you plan to hold them accountable. So, the need is to ask your husband whether regular check-ins will be helpful for him or harmful.
- Point out small victories
For anybody who smokes daily, going a day without any cigarette is an accomplishment. As a girlfriend, you should recognize it and acknowledge the fact that your husband is capable of going without cigarettes. Such small victories tend to increase one’s confidence
- Emphasize the temporary nature of withdrawal symptoms.
For those who are trying to quit any addiction, it is very common for them to experience insomnia, anxiety, irritability, restlessness and even depression. These are quite common in the initial two to three weeks. What can you do? Keep reminding him that all this is temporary and he can emerge out victorious.
- Know that quitting is a learning curve.
Several people take several attempts at quitting smoking. It is okay if your man has a relapse, then your duty is to encourage him to learn from the experience so the next time around he can avoid whatever caused him to smoke the previous time. Smoking is a learned behavior, so is quitting it.
- Get supplies
There are many reasons why people smoke, one prominent reason is to alleviate boredom. Try keeping candies, fruits and veggies around him
- Make memories together
Use quitting as an excuse to spend some more time together, more than what you’d usually do. Go out on dinner dates, movie dates— anything that keeps him occupied.
Well, a couple that sheds sweat together, stays together! Exercise also helps alleviate above-mentioned consequences viz. anxiety, restlessness etc
- Make your home and car smoke-free spaces
This becomes all the more important, specifically if you guys live together. You tend to become a passive smoker and that’s putting you at an equal level of danger. Don’t put yourself at risk for serious health problems. Throw away all the lighters or ash trays that are present in your home.
- Avoid visiting places where people smoke
During the time your husband is on a no-smoke sree, try and avoid lanning outings to a club or a lounge and other such laces where people generally smoke.
- Know your limits
How important is it to you that your husband quit smoking? While there exist steps you can definitely take so as to help him quit, you’ll need to think as to how you will proceed considering he has no interest in doing so.
All of us human beings have one flaw or more. Consider smoking to be one of his flaws. If you have tried all the points stated above and still fail, and can’t spend your life with a smoker, he needs to be aware. For your separation would be conducive to happiness.
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