“A murder will kill you, a thief will steal from you, but you’ll never know where you stand with a liar.”
Promises made and kept are true promises. Making promises is no big deal keeping them is what makes the difference. Well, they say ‘Honesty is the best policy’ and they don’t say that for nothing. It is appreciated if you are not able to do something but you own up to it. Not keeping promises is equivalent to lying. Yes it is equivalent to lying.
This doesn’t mean every time a person is unable to keep their promises that they are purposely doing it. But how do you know if they are?
Some signs can help you identify whether you are tangled in the web of a liar.
- Being inconsistent: Inconsistency is one of the most prime characteristics of a person who’s into the habit of constantly lying. Inconsistent in showing up, or even making phone calls etc point towards them being unfaithful.
- Apologies begin to sound like a full stop to sentences: This one’s the biggest warning sign you can possibly receive. Apology that does not follow corrective behaviour is not a true apology. When you apologize for something once make sure you do not apologize for the same thing again.
- Never making up for the times that they didn’t turn up: Some people are not good at apologizing but they sure do know how to show that they are sorry by making up for when they missed out on something. It is not too much to expect you know and it is not too much to do either.
- Evading the issue: When confronted a compulsive liar will only try and evade the issue. Now they can do this either by telling another lie which will sound very convincing. Or they can even try to make you believe that you are unnecessarily blowing up the matter out of proportion.
- Always giving excuses: They will never hesitate to give you excuses for every time they want to cover up their lies. Excuses will come like they were meant to be there and it was you who didn’t understand. They will never fall short of the most realistic yet impossible excuses to put forward. It will make you doubt yourself if you judged them too soon.
- Self pity: If caught they will crave for self pity and make up a story so convincing that you will also fall for it and feel bad for them. When you get to notice its lies is when it becomes a habit. How many times can you feel sorry for someone? For example they will tell you they came late for the date because they were helping someone who fell on the street and dropped all their belongings and as it was raining everything got wet and they were simply being a good Samaritan to the fellow on the road. Now you will sit feeling bad for them and yourself for even being angry in the first place.
- Minimizing your needs: They will constantly minimize your needs and your concerns and make their issues seem bigger and more important. We can take the above same example. You notice how being on time was no longer the issue of concern and how their helping nature and good heart became the centre of attention.
- Telling you, you are demanding; when nothing else is left the blame game is best to play. When there are no more excuses left to tell and no more situations where they were the bigger person it’s easy to just put the blame on you and how demanding you have become in the relationship. That you should not push it. That you should learn to be more content and satisfied with the way things are.
- Caught lying: they get into a constant defensive mode and will not accept their fault. They will give a billion reasons but they will never come to the point of acceptance. They will beat around the bush but never let you completely analyze their fault and instead sway you off topic and justify their behaviour and expect you to let it go.
Yes, let it go and let them go is what you should do.
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