Family Problem Article
You’re in love with someone? Superb! The same person loves you back? Lottery! Whatever you win in that lottery, the parents of the person you love come as part of the package. And since there’s no choice when it comes to in-laws, whats crucial is to reach a common ground, if you are finding the task of getting along a bit difficult.
The difference in one’s upbringing erupts out to be the root of most problems is. One family’s values, traditions and routines ten to differ from the other. And nearly everything, from the way children are brought up to how housework is done, is generally deeply ingrained in the unique family blueprint. When the blueprint of your in-laws completely differs from your own, differences of opinion and problems may exist. To sail through any such problem and get along well with your in-laws, your partner and you must stand united. It gets difficult to stand up against the parents and set boundaries for them, but if you and your spouse support one another, you’re more likely to succeed.
Here are some problematic areas that generally lead to conflicts between couples and their respective in-laws. Don’t worry, for we shell out tips to cope with them along too.
Each one of us has some annoying habits. Talk things out with your spouse and together, make a list of all the things about your parents or your in-laws that annoy you. Divide them on the basis of whether thay can be ignored or need to be discussed personally with them. Never ever make the mistake of putting your spouse in a situation where he/she has to choose between you and a family member for it’s impossible to take sides. Rather, try and understand the relationship that your spouse shares with his/ her family.
The family of the other side, specifically in-laws have no qualms about being vocal as and when they think you’ve done something wrong. It’s completely up to you to decide which comments you should be ignoring and which ones count as positive criticism. Take a firm stand as a couple, ask them to stop making judgements, be it your career choices or your parenting abilities, or any other matter.
Keeping in touch
There’s no right or wrong amount to keep in touch, so if your in-law have complained about the lack of time you have for them, you better consider but, if you somehow feel that that’s getting in the way of your relationship, fret not, agree on some limits. If you’re in-laws are draining you over the same, you need to change the boundaries. The only thing that worries them is the fact that you may just close them out, but you’ve got to reassure them that no such thing would happen.
Certain things tend to be personal. Subjects such as financial matters are better kept under wraps. As a couple, agree upon what topics are okay to be spoken about with your in-laws and which ones should remain private. So, when you get married and then start your own family, then that’s what becomes your primary loyalty.
Make it a point not to criticize your spouse for his/her relationship in front of his/her parents. This will only result in an increase in complications. Parents are meant to be loved, and have a rich and active relationship with, but at any time when you turn away from your partner to resolve any relationship issue, then that’s a bad thing. If you’re facing any problem in the marriage, you must resolve it in the marriage.
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