As a society, we are grown to believe that there’s certain air that generally heats up amidst the daughter in law and the mother in law. According to research around 60 per cent of all marriages suffer from tension with mothers-in-law that is normally between the woman and her husband’s mother. Blame Ekta Kapoor’s serials for that or your real life experience, we bring to your rescue a few tips to improve your relationship with your mom-in-law
Just like being a daughter-in-law is new to you taking up the role of a mother-in-law is new to her too. Always try and convey a positive attitude towards her. The older woman is probably trying her best to fit into her new shoes as a mommy-in-law.
Try to treat your mother and your mother-in-law equally. For example if you give your mother a birthday gift, then give your mother-in-law a gift for her birthday too. If you have children, then visit your mother and your mother-in-law along with your children with similar frequency.
The fact that the lady has spent a significant part of her life raising her son may make her a little sensitive when another person becomes the centre of attraction of her son’s life.
Though majority of mother-in-laws do not consider their daughter-in-laws to be a competition, there are some mothers who do. May be, the ones whose lives revolved around their child for a long time because they have been a single parent or had only one child are the ones who are most likely to behave in this way. If, for example, your mother-in-law gushes about how her son always liked her home-cooking, do not try to compete by mentioning how much he likes your cooking now. This would hurt her.
Treat your mother-in-law with respect. She’s elder to you and hence, wiser. Howsoever, she may be behave with you, she deserves to be respected. Never let her down on that aspect.
Expect the unexpected
The Golden rule in life: DO NOT EXPECT! Don’texpect your in-laws to be good, don’t even expect them to be bad. Getting to know the family you have married is supposed to take time. Though as the daughter-in-law, you deserved to be welcomed into the family with open arms, do not get disheartened if this does not happen.
Pay her some attention. Talk to her. Talk to her so that you get to know her better. Try to know her likes and dislikes and then pamper her based on that. Sit and chat, plan outings with her, cook her favorite food. This way, you two can get to know each other better and bond well.
Keep her informed
Try and keep your mother-in-law informed; call and let her know about important events, anything and everything. Tell her about which relative gifted you what, send her pictures, stay connected almost every single day. Keep her in the loop.
Seek her advice
Your in-laws have years of experience. Don’t hesitate to take her advice, instead try and approach her as often as you can. This would give her a feel good factor. It’s completely okay to disagree with her, it’s even okay to decide to not follow any of her suggestions, but listen, show respect, and do not consider any advice as a personal attack. And now, read the last line again.
The Bond with the Grandchildren
Allow your mother-in-law to take care of your children. For majority of grandparents, the grandchildren are an unmatchable source of joy, a joy greater than their own kids could ever give. If she wants to, let her spoil them a little, or a lot.
Communication is the key
Wherever and whenever you believe there’s something that’s not going right, the best solution is always to talk. The ability to express our feelings to another individual through words is a gift of God and one must utilize that. Try and talk out things with the concerned person. If something that someone said hurt you, do not keep it bottled up inside you for that really harms you in the long run. Discuss, discuss more!
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